Sunday, 2 November 2008

Hawkmonkey Endorses Barack Obama

As I've said before, this blog is in slowdown for a while, but even more so with the election upon us. It's affecting us in all sorts of ways (from horrible panic to sleeplessness to random outbreaks of crying), but it's not just me and Canyon, and maybe Masticator, who I'm sure would be grateful for some event to take Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross off the front pages of the UK papers.

The election has also affected the reincarnated half-Thanagarian reality-anomaly/sock monkey hybrid who is keeping the streets of our town safe at night. I think he's felt strongly about this election for a long time now, but is only now endorsing Senator Barack Obama for President of the United States of America.

After many threats and demands, Canyon and I carved that Halloween pumpkin for Hawkmonkey, as his sock hands are not built for sensitive work like that. They're perfect for cracking heads, though, hence our fear.

We used a variety of knives and a screwdriver (no pumpkin sculpting tools around, sadly, which meant we had to improvise, McGyver-style), as well as the evil FridgeKiller, the knife that stabbed a deadly hole in our fridge recently. It didn't do any damage to anything other than the pumpkin, which makes a change, after a recent bagel-slicing task ended in blood and tears. That goddamn knife is possessed.

I must admit, I was reluctant to do this for Hawkmonkey. Regular readers may remember my early support for the Rufus T. Firefly / Dickie Pilager ticket, but that faltered a while ago, what with it being revealed that Firefly is a Freedonian by birth, and therefore ineligible to run, and Pilager, after taking over the campaign, could never get past his association with the evil industrialist Wes Benteen. A shame. Firefly's pro-eating-crackers-in-bed / anti-whatever-it-is philosophy is exactly what the world needs right now, but these silly rules just got in the way. As a result, much as I don't want to, I'm forced to throw my support and formidable political influence behind the duo of Merkin Muffley and Bob Roberts.

I'm not sure they're good for the USA, but Muffley reminds me of my nervy, ineffectual self, and I'm reassured to know that Bob Roberts is there to run things from the sidelines, and after the last eight years we all know that a powerful, sneaky, vicious and immmoral vice-president is vital. Plus, he's a kickass musician. Know hopelessness!

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