Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Pop Culture Will Fight Itself (2)

Who would win this head-to-head match? Tron...


...or Jericho "Action" Jackson?


Tron lives inside a crazy and beautiful computer world designed by the incredible Moebius and the equally incredible Syd Mead.


Action Jackson comes from Detroit.


Tron gets around on a Light Cycle that does wicked 90 degree turns.


Action Jackson is such an incredible athlete he can chase a cab, leap onto it, hold on while being shot at and, after falling off, leap over it as it attempts to run him over.


Tron is accompanied by a very beautiful and dynamic soundtrack written by synth ace Wendy Carlos, with extra songs by Journey.


Action Jackson doesn't go anywhere without a funky and exciting soundtrack by Michael Kamen and Jazz God Herbie Hancock (seriously, have you heard Headhunters?), with the odd Pointer Sisters song thrown in for good measure.


Tron fights with a glowing frisbee that will de-rez any enemies.


Action Jackson uses his mighty fists, which are especially powerful when used with some taunting.


Tron's nemesis is the dastardly security program Sark, played by super-evil David Warner, here seen playing a game of Pac Man.


Action Jackson's nemesis is car-builder Peter Dellaplane, played by the normally likeable Craig T. Nelson, who uses karate to even the odds against our hero, plus the odd bit of bondage. Don't worry, Jackson kicks his ass later!


When Tron takes Sark down, this is the send-off dialogue:
Sark: You certainly are persistant, Tron.
Tron: I'm also better than you!

When Action Jackson is about to kick Dellaplane's ass after being kicked through a car window (a car that is sitting in Dellaplane's bedroom; long story), Jackson's send-off line is:
NOW YOU PISSED ME OFF!

Tron was played by Bruce Boxleitner. He's pretty bad in this, though he does better than in Babylon 5, where I struggled to take him seriously (though there were far far worse actors on that frustrating show). It's also kinda weird that the lead in the movie Tron isn't Boxleitner, but Jeff Bridges, who plays a hacker who meets Tron inside a computer. I guess if you're making a sci-fi version of The Wizard of Oz, the marketing department is probably going to sniff at the name Kevin.

Action Jackson is played by Carl Weathers, who is awesome in the Rocky movies and Predator, and his appearance on Arrested Development became one of the defining images in our current TV Golden Age. We will be forever grateful.


So, who will win this impossible fight? You decide!!!

SPECIAL BONUS POLL!

Who is your favourite new character on Lost?

EXTRA SPECIAL BONUS POLL!

Who is your least favourite character (i.e. your nominee for Show Gupta) on wacky sci-fi comedy Torchwood?

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