Friday, 30 November 2007

David Tennant 4evah?

Finally, the overlong Doctor Who poll has closed, and here are the results:

  • David Tennant: 5 (20%)
  • Peter Serafinowicz: 3 (12%)
  • David Caruso: 3 (12%)
  • Miss Jay from ANTM: 3 (12%)
  • Hunky Clive Owen: 2 (8%)
  • Knut the lovable polar bear: 2 (8%)
  • Ant and Dec: 1 (4%)
  • Jet Li: 1 (4%)
  • Ryan Seacrest: 1 (4%)
  • Adrian Pasdar: 1 (4%)
  • Fearne Cotton: 1 (4%)
  • Professor Richard Dawkins: 1 (4%)
  • Mandy Patinkin: 1 (4%)
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar: 0 (0%)
  • Ban-Ki Moon: 0 (0%)
  • The Nesbitt: 0 (0%)
  • Dame Judi Dench: 0 (0%)
  • Derren Brown: 0 (0%)
  • Ali Larter: 0 (0%)
  • Stephen Fry: 0 (0%)

  • So, it seems the microcosm of the internet that is the small but fragrant readership of this blog is happy with the current Doctor. After a foolish early period hating him in the role and longing for the return of Christopher "Integrity" Ecclestone I have to say that would indeed be a wonderful outcome, but I doubt it's to be. The Beeb seem so eager to keep him on that they've shrunk a season order down to nothing just to accomodate him. If you're immolating your show just to keep someone around, you might as well not bother. It's only a matter of time before someone at the BBC wakes up and notices something is awry and hires someone else.

    As for Serafinowicz, a not too shabby showing, but perhaps his chances were damaged by his sketch show, which had about a 50:50 success rate. Happily, the good sketches were transcendentally good (especially Ringo's Goldfinger, which is still making me laugh weeks later), and most were filled with great little details (getting George Lucas' neck sac right was a particular triumph), but overall, it could have been better. I still think he would be a great Doctor, though. He's energetic, not unattractive, and has a voice like a Satyr. And yes, I did consider rigging the poll so that he won, but my sense of decency won out in the end.

    The Mighty Caruso did well too, but then this blog has in the past been frequented by his fans and haters, so I expected some support, but the big surprise was Miss Jay's strong showing (and yes, I know I'm desperately trying to make three votes seem like a big deal after complaining about the delusional mental state of air guitarists. Please bear with me during this self-indulgent display). She's certainly got the miserablist attitude that the Doctor needs, but the Doctor tends to stick to one outfit, and Miss Jay would be in and out of high heels, leather skirts, and a vermillion feather boa every week. The BBC can't afford a costume budget like that, so I can't see it happening.

    I was wondering what would make people vote for some of the contenders and not others. No Dame Judi Dench? Surely she would be perfect. And no The Nesbitt? I guess that proves no one working at the Sun reads this blog, which is fine by me. But what of the others? I guess it has something to do with slash. Sci fi + internet = slash, after all, which means I can see why Hunky Clive Owen got a couple of votes (because who wouldn't want to see HCO lip-locking with John Barrowman), but not Derren Brown. I mean yes, he's a top-rocking brain-warping imp hero, but not hott by any standards (Sorry Canyon). Of course, the slash theory is sorely tested by the solitary and thoroughly unnerving vote for Fearne Cotton. Surely she's the anti-sexxy, a yoof presenter so vapid she makes Cat Deeley look like Kate Adie. This is before we get into the votes for Knut the lovable polar bear, which I will attribute to his steely magnetism and rock-star charisma, and not the fanbase's wish to see him getting it on with K-9.

    Anyway, many thanks to all who voted. I shall now contact Russell T. Davies, who is, I'm sure, waiting patiently for my call, to tell him to use Hypnotoad on Tennant to make sure he stays on the show. It was once his childhood dream to play the Doctor, and now it seems it will be his eternal damnation. Poor chap.

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