Thursday, 20 September 2007

D-War Even More Awesome Than We Thought it Would Be

The AV Club review is in – apparently it’s called Dragon Wars in the US – and apparently it’s terrible. Ridiculously convoluted, terribly acted, pathetically written, and ineptly made on every level. I can’t wait! Someone in the comments section said that when a policeman sees a giant lizard wrapped around a building, he says something like, “I’m downtown – we’ve got a Code 3.” Code 3?!?! What the hell is Code 4?

This thing might be the awesomest movie ever made. Inept ridiculousness plus dragons? Top that, Uwe Boll! (Actually he might: the AV Club also has an interview with him, in which he talks about his latest movie, where he plays “the demented owner of an amusement park built on Nazi gold.” Well played, Uwe Boll. Better played than your boxing matches, anyway.)

The AV Club also has an interview with William Friedkin, our favorite sometimes-very-good-mostly-ridiculous cravat-wearing director (Peter Bogdanovich comes a distant second). I haven’t read either interview yet, but based on their DVD commentaries, I’m expecting very entertaining reads. More later when I’ve properly imbibed.

[ETA by AdmiralNeck: Masticator has kindly pointed out in the comments for the original D-War post that I forgot to mention Reign of Fire, and indeed he is right, I totally forgot. I know why my brain seized up, though. Of all the dragon films made over the last few years, I thought this was the one film that was going to kick my ass and sit at the top of the dragon pile, knocking off Dragonslayer and Pete's Dragon (another one I forgot). Everyone told me it was disappointing and that the film was mostly about the humans, with the dragons playing second fiddle, but as the humans were doing a Mad Max kind of thing, I figured that would be just fine. I like Mad-Max-style films. I love Waterworld for that exact reason. (Shut. Up. Everyone.)

Nothing prepared me for the tedium of it all. My God, I was heartbroken when I finally watched it (many years after the original release, oddly enough). It was wretched, horribly filmed, indifferently acted (despite the presence of McConnahunk and Batman), and almost entirely dragon-free. Dreadful stuff. Though better than Dragonheart.

I fully expect D-Wars to be a million times more entertaining.]


Masticator said...

"indifferently acted (despite the presence of McConnahunk"

Shome mishtake shurely?

Anyway, I thought it was high-larious.

Admiral Neck said...

Perhaps I should have clarified that while I agree that McConnasexx is not De Niro with abs, I do find him a very likeable and watchable screen presence, and he has had a couple of terrific screen moments, like Dazed and Confused, or Sahara. (Shut. Up. Again. Everyone.)

However, in Reign of Fire, while he was entertaining (as was Batman), it wasn't enough to save it from the rest of the suck. Very sad. The wound has yet to heal.

Jaredan said...

I enjoyed Sahara, but I will never forgive McConnauhhmellmuuhay and his revolting co-star for Failure To Launch.
I saw it for free but I paid a heavy price.